It started as though life is turning out to be perfect with someone you love right there beside you or on the phone talking late at night. I don't see that now. I mean, what the fuck did I do wrong? She's busy with her friends which I totally don't mind that. The only thing I hate is going out late and night and just chill till the next morning. I mean, what the fuck? Here I am waiting for your message or even call till 5am and I got nothing. During the afternoon only then I get your message or your call.

I'm not like you. I'm nothing like you or the rest of them. Of course all of you stay near each other and I'm so damn fucking far away but who the fuck cares. I don't even know if you love me anymore. Fuck me again! I'm going through this shit all over again and again and again! I don't even know when will this shit fucking ends! All this time I've been keeping quiet is because I don't want you to get hurt by what I say to you. You want to do this, go ahead. You want that, go ahead. God, I even put my whole trust on you and you only trust me like what, half only? Saying you need to know me more? What fucking more?! This is who I am. I'm not like the rest. This is me and only me. When I love someone, I will love them to the fullest. If I hate someone, I will ignore that bugger but I won't be rude towards him.

What more do you want from me? I'm tired of this shit anymore. Don't you ever fucking cry when I leave for my own good. At last I'm thinking for my god damn self. It's about fucking time. All this while, it's never about me. It's about you. I just kept quiet because I don't want us to fight but every time I wanna meet you, you'll be busy with your friends. I'm fine with it. But then you'll start blaming me if I cannot meet you because I'm at home doing nothing and shit. Fuck, you don't even know my fucking parents! They are not like your parents or any other parents. They are strict and they expect me, the youngest to follow exactly what they say which is fucking killing me. When will you start understanding me? Seriously I'm damn tired of my life being a shithole.

I'm running away. That's it. Maybe not. I have my patience. I'll wait for you. Like how I've waited for three years. Until I'm no longer good for you or I see that we have no future with each other. I'm sorry but going our separate ways is the only thing. Not only you will get hurt, it's going to hurt me as well. Again. What a life it is for me.

still waiting @ 8:55 AM