I just found out that she got a new boyfriend. The worst thing is that he's someone I knew, someone I work with before. Why couldn't she tell me something. Why must she ignore me? At least tell me something so that I won't feel so hurt like now. She stab me at the back, no wait, straight at the front right in front of my face. Why?! What did I do wrong to deserve all this? Are you telling me that love is all bullshit??!! I'm trying to change, to love someone. And I actually thought that we could get married and settle down together but it's all fucking lies!!

I shall kneel down, humbly, in front of you and please take my life away. I had enough of this shit. I can't take it any longer. Too many pain is going through me. I should have died when I was young. I should die when I was critically ill. The past shall haunt me again. The past shall take over me again. My life should be meaningless now. Things will go black instead of colourful. Life has no meaning to me and so does emotions. I'm just a shadow.

still waiting @ 8:59 AM